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Good women do still exist, but our stomachs ain't flat and we talk back.

I don't need therapy. I just need to see my grandkids.

I suffer from that disorder where I speak the truth and y'all get offended.

Rules for dating my niece:

I found this in my pocket. It's for you.

Sorry we're late, I was being a little 💩.

A badass dad raised a smartass daughter.

I'm the crazy grandma everyone warned you about. Mess with my grandkids, my angels, you better run for your life because I'm coming after you & hell's coming with me.

I suffer from that disorder where I speak the truth and y'all get offended.

It's simple. Don't mess with my kids. Trust me, I'm one woman you don't want to cross, 'cause you have no idea what I'm capable of.

Somewhere in heaven my mother is smiling down on me.

Nope I can't go to hell Satan still has a restraining order against me.

I'm not spoiled I'm just loved protected and well taken care of by the best husband in the world.

I'm not anti-social. I just don't tolerate drama and fake people.

People in front of me driving responsibly & going the speed limit: Me: Oooommmmyyyggggggoddddd fuuuuccckkinnnnggggoooooooooooo!!!

Go ahead call the cops I am still kicking your ass till they get here.

Aunt & nephew best freakin' partner in crime ever.

By the power vested me, I now pronounce you… blocked & deleted. You may now… kiss my ass.

My husband thinks I’m freaking crazy, but I’m not the one who married me.

I never dreamed I’d be this crazy grandma with the cutest grandkids ever, but here I am.

Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot I only exist when you need something.

Part mama bear, protective. Part mama llama, calm & chill. Part mama shark, my brain is do-do-do-do. 15. (a18)

Turtles are green, ducks go quack. We’re best friends cause our heads are equally whack!

Back off! I have a crazy brother and I’m not afraid to use him.

I go from baby fever to no more kids real quick.

I think I need glasses because I keep seeing a lot of people with two faces.

My mom always wonders where I get my attitude from. You homegirl. I get it from you.

I’m the type of girl who will punch you in the face rather than stab you in the back!

If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. If grandma ain’t happy… run!

As I grew older, I thought the best part of my life was over. Then I saw my first grandchild and realized the best part of my life had just begun.

Everybody has that auntie that will cuss everyone out. That’s me. I’m that auntie.

When you finish talking bad about me, don’t forget to tell them the good things I did for you.

I got my daddy’s temper and my mama’s attitude.

1. I want to punch you so bad, my fist has a boner.

Some aunts have tattoos, pretty eyes, thick thighs, and cuss too much. It’s me, I’m some aunts.

My daughter is a huge pain in the ass, but she is my pain in the ass, and I love her.