Quotes Funny (1247 Designs)

I got my daddy’s temper and my mama’s attitude.

1. I want to punch you so bad, my fist has a boner.

Some aunts have tattoos, pretty eyes, thick thighs, and cuss too much. It’s me, I’m some aunts.

Trust me on this… You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch that shit all day long at work.

My daughter is a huge pain in the ass, but she is my pain in the ass, and I love her.

I’m not clumsy! It’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the wall gets in my way!

My kids accuse me of having a favorite child, which is ridiculous because I don’t like any of them. My grandbabies are my favorite.

Kinda have baby fever. Kinda think I have too many kids already.

Oh, you hate me? Join the club! There are weekly meetings at the corner of Fuck You St. & Kiss my Ass Blvd.

I need to go on medication so I can slap stupid people and blame it on the side effects.

Sometimes I open my mouth and my father comes out.

I’m a proud nana of a smartass granddaughter.

Short girls are so mean because they are closer to hell.

I don’t pretend to be something I’m not. I know I’m a bitch, and I own that shit. Like a boss.

My mouth has no filter. I say whatever I please, and most of the time I’m just as shocked as you.

Auntitude. What is auntitude, you ask? Mess with my niece and nephew and you will find out!

Being a sister is an honor. Being an aunt is priceless.

You call it nagging. I call it listen to what I fucking said the first time.

Uncles are not totally useless. We can be used as bad examples.

I don't always enjoy being an a**hole (censored only here)... Oh wait, yes I do.

The good in me got tired of everything, so the evil came out to play.

Stop asking why I'm a bitch. I don't ask why you're so stupid.

I never dreamed I'd grow up to be a crazy sister, but here I am killing it.

I hate it when people can't see the wrong in their actions but see the wrong in mine.

I just asked myself if I'm crazy and we said no.

If I'm spoiled, it's my grandpa's fault. Saw it, liked it, told grandpa, got it.

Not only does my mind wander... sometimes it walks off completely.

If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.

I am putting myself in timeout until I can play nice with others. This may take a while because stupid people are everywhere.

You will never find another me. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it's the truth.

If you don't want the truth, don't ask me. If you want something sugarcoated, go eat a donut.

Why should I apologize for the monster I have become? No one ever apologized for making me this way!

Reality of parenting somewhere between "Sweet Child O' Mine" and "Welcome to the Jungle".

Rock. Paper. Scissors. Throat punch! I win.

Don't mess with Grandmasaurus, you'll get jurasskicked.

I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.