Funny Sayings (380)

Don't mess with me my Grandpa is a grumpy old man with a bad hip, a short temper and a Shovel He knows places Nobody will ever look

Marriage is just two people fighting over the Thermostat Forever

my husband says it's hunting season I say it's Finding My Keys Season

It's not a dad bod it's a Father Figure With Snacks

I hate being this handsome but I'm a Bearded Old Man so I can't Help It

I'm not grumpy I'm just a Retired Man who's been Awake Since 5

Honey Do List 1. fix the sink 2. fix the door 3. fix the fence 4. Hide in the garage

Good men still exist I know because I Married One he's grumpy, stubborn And All Mine

I said I Do I didn't know it meant Do Everything she asks

Man Cave Rules 1. it's my cave 2. see rule 1 No Exceptions

My husband doesn't snore he just Dreams He's A Motorcycle

I married a man who owns Every Tool and can't find A Single One

my husband wanted me to be his fishing buddy now he has A Bait Supplier With Opinions

I'm a man of few words No is one of Them

My husband never gets lost we just take The Scenic Route For 3 Hours

I'm the reason Grandpa has grey hair and the reason He Smiles

I don't need your approval I already have a Wife Who Disagrees

I have a Bearded Husband he's grumpy he's hairy He's Mine

My husband can build Anything except An Apology

I don't need therapy I just need My Garage And Silence

in this house the remote belongs to the Husband the TV belongs to The Wife

my morning routine coffee three pills and a Bad Mood Till Noon

all I need is my truck my dog and a wife who Lets Me Keep Both

I married My Best Friend now I'm stuck with Him Forever and I'd do it Again

You can't scare me I have a Grandpa with a bad back A Good Aim And Time

My husband helps around the house he lifts his feet When I Vacuum

Proud husband of a Freakin' Awesome Wife yes she bought me This Shirt

If I can't fix it with Duct Tape it's not Broken Enough

Grandparents are just parents who finally Stopped Caring

I'm a Grumpy Old Man my sarcasm comes free but my patience Costs Extra

Husband part time Lawn Mower full time Nap Taker

my husband yells at the TV like the players Can Hear Him Every Sunday

I'm the Grandson of a woman who Survived Everything you are Not A Problem

sweet smart spoiled and backed by A Crazy Grandma Choose Wisely

my husband can grill Anything except a Salad

Not A Morning Person not an Afternoon Person basically just A Nap Person