Funny Sayings (574)

Easily Distracted by Books & Coffee My Weekend Plans Are Fully Booked

It's Not Hoarding if it's Plants & Flowers Certified Plant Lady Zero Regrets

Life Is Better Around The Campfire Cold Breeze, Warm Coffee Happy Camper

Stand Back The Grill Master is working his magic Low & Slow BBQ Legend

Coffee, Scrubs and a Heart Of Gold Proud Nurse Life Caring All Day Long

Teaching Tiny Humans Takes a Giant Heart Fueled By Coffee & Classroom Laughter

I Fix Stuff You Break My Hourly Rate Doubles If You Watch Triple If You Help

Making Memories One Road Trip At A Time Family Vacation Mode Officially Activated

Together Since Day One Best Friend For Life Partner In Crime Still Falling For You

Easily Distracted by Dogs & Good Books My Ideal Afternoon Stay Home Club

Grandma's Kitchen Where Love Is Baked And Grandkids Are Spoiled Open 24/7

Baking Is My Therapy Peace, Love and Fresh Warm Bread Made From Scratch

"I'm Watching That" says my husband Snoring On The Couch

My Husband Left One Bite in the container so It's Not Technically Gone

Small House because The Garage Holds Three Bikes

Came Home With Zero Fish and An Empty Snack Cooler

My Dog Knows The Vet Turn two blocks Before I Do

My Dog Waits At The Window every day until My Truck Pulls In

Twenty Guests and my cat picks The One Who's Allergic

Ignores Me All Day then at bedtime Sleeps On My Face

FEAST OR FETCH MY GOLDEN RETRIEVER'S THANKSGIVING SCHEDULE Turkey first, naps second

I'M JUST HERE FOR GRANDMA'S PUMPKIN PIE AND TO PET THE DOG Happy Thanksgiving Y'all

MOST LIKELY TO SNEAK TURKEY TO THE DOG UNDER THE DINNER TABLE Guilty every single year

NAUGHTY LIST? MY CAT CALLS IT FESTIVE HOLIDAY SPIRIT Zero regrets this Christmas

MY DOG IS ON SANTA'S NICE LIST I TOOK ALL THE BLAME Merry Woofmas & Happy Holidays

MY TIME IN UNIFORM IS DONE PROUD US VETERAN NOW I SERVE MY GRANDKIDS Best title I have ever earned

Our Christmas Tree has one ornament I made In First Grade Mom Still Hangs It Front And Center

My Uncle Shows Up Exactly When the turkey Comes Out Of The Oven

Our Christmas Cards go out every year Right On Time For Mid-January

Grandpa's Thanksgiving Grace went so long The Gravy Grew A Skin

My Husband Owns Forty Shirts and wears The Same Three

"I'm Not Hungry" he said, then ate Half Of My Fries

My Bike Has A Name and unlike most people She Never Argues Back

Named My Boat After My Wife so every weekend I'm Spending Time With Her

Off The Clock Nurse still answering Health Questions At Every Family Dinner

Teacher Weekend Sunday Night is just Monday's Dress Rehearsal