Funny Sayings (574)

Blanket Captain protecting this couch from chilly toes Boarding Is Closed

I edited Santa's list to add one more Cozy Blanket and absolutely no chores

Grandparents part cheer squad part snack supply All Heart

Reindeer Rest Stop hot cocoa here carrots by request Naps strongly encouraged

My book club has excellent taste in stories And Naps

Family Photo Director everyone smile someone blinked We're calling it candid

Coffee First then holiday mingling please allow One Full Mug

Our family tree has great ornaments and a few Unscheduled Plot Twists

Feast or Fetch? my golden retriever Why Not Both sit, stay, stuffing

I'm Only Here For The Stuffing and to pet Every Dog Here small talk not included

Official Leftover Eater of this household he'll finish it, he always does

Naughty List? Worth It Signed, The Cat the tree was asking for it

Dear Santa The Dog Ate Your Cookies please adjust the list accordingly

Most Likely To Nap Before Dessert thanksgiving family edition

Most Likely To Hide The Last Christmas Cookie holiday family crew

Done Serving In Uniform now on active duty at The Lake the fish still won't salute

I'm Not Old I'm a Limited Edition Classic Grandpa aged like holiday fruitcake

Ride Now Pie Later holiday road crew first stop, grandma's kitchen

Night Shift Nurse my christmas plans Coffee & Sleep in that exact order

Teacher Mode: Off Winter Break Loading... please do not grade my naps

Home For The Holidays after 2,000 Miles Save Me A Plate

Chubby Cat entering Holiday Bulk Season turkey drops accepted daily

Today's forecast 100% chance of coffee with a strong possibility of more coffee

Professional Blanket Burrito available for absolutely nothing

I'm not hiding snacks I'm managing Inventory

My party plan arrive early find the snacks leave mysteriously

I talk to my plants they're better listeners And they never ask for favors

Laundry Manager currently accepting help and snacks

Weekend agenda cancel plans take a nap call it self care

My book club is thriving we read books and eat snacks discussion optional

Leftover taste tester available after dinner and before breakfast

Family photos proof we can all look at one camera for almost three seconds

Holiday Light Supervisor providing expert advice from a warm chair

Serving looks serving snacks mostly serving snacks

Slow Morning Specialist certified in one more cup and five more minutes

Pet hair is my favorite accessory it goes with everything