Funny Sayings (949)

The Dog's Stocking Is Bigger Than Mine and honestly He Earned It

Those Aren't Smudges on my windows they're Nose Art By My Dog

Bought Her Fancy Toys and she still stole My Hair Tie

That Slow Blink means I love you Or Feed Me Probably Feed Me

He Reloads The Dishwasher right after I load it Because There's A System

He Will Carry Every Grocery Bag in one single trip Or Die Trying

Some Nights I don't even ride I Just Sit In The Garage And Admire Her

She Asked How Many I Caught I told her I had A Very Peaceful Day

A Twelve-Hour Shift is just a cute name for Thirteen And A Half Hours

Teacher Life haven't sat down Since 7:45 Lunch Was Eleven Minutes

I Don't Yell I just give The Look And Thirty Kids Go Quiet

Ten States eleven hundred miles And Still Home For Sunday Dinner

Picked Up The Leash without a sound and He's At The Door Before I Turn Around

Bought A Queen Bed the dog gets Two Thirds I Get The Edge

Every Video Call my cat insists on Joining The Meeting

Opened A Book and my cat decided That Page Is Now Her Bed

Already Planning My Leftover Sandwich and we haven't even Said Grace Yet

I Don't Count Slices Of Pie on Thanksgiving I Count Blessings

Don't Bother Him the grill is His Office And He's In A Meeting

Quick Trip To The Hardware Store he said that Three Hours Ago

Wind Therapy no appointment needed No Waiting Room Just Open Road

My Tackle Box Is Perfectly Organized the garage? We Don't Talk About The Garage

Calm Voice steady hands Organized Chaos That's Nurse Life

Being A Nurse Means the whole family texts you Every Little Ache Before Anyone Else

Summer Break is just three months of Planning Next Year In Flip-Flops

Every Diner from here to the coast Knows My Name And My Coffee Order

A Doorbell Rang on TV and my dog Defended The House From Nobody

Rolled The Window Down and my dog acted like It Was The Best Day Of His Life

Closed One Door now my cat needs Urgently To Be On The Other Side

Who Needs An Alarm my cat starts Breakfast Service At 5 AM Sharp

Thankful For Everyone who suddenly Disappears When It's Time For Dishes

Pie For Breakfast the morning after Thanksgiving Isn't A Bad Habit It's A Tradition

Our Tree Leans a little to one side It's Not Crooked It Has Character

My Husband Says I Know A Guy turns out The Guy Is Always Him

He Can Describe a weird car noise In Perfect Detail But Not His Feelings

Gray Beard bad knees Still Rides Every Sunday Morning