Funny Sayings (452)

If It's On The Table my cat will Push It Off The Edge

Bought My Cat A $50 Bed she chose The Box It Came In

My Husband can't go anywhere Without Making A New Best Friend

I Measure My Life in Miles Not Years

Two Fingers Down if you know You Know Ride Safe

Don't Open The Fridge that's not yogurt It's Bait

My Dog can hear The Cheese Drawer From Three Rooms Away

Missing Socks? check The Dog Bed Every Single Time

My Cat won't touch Her Water Bowl Only My Glass

Do Not Disturb Loaf Mode Activated

Honey Where's The Ketchup it's right there Behind The Milk

Every Gas Station is a Reunion When You Ride

I'm Not Ignoring You I'm just Waiting On A Bite

No Signal at the lake That's The Point Of Going

I Have A King Bed and somehow The Dog Gets Most Of It

I Left For five minutes My Dog Acts Like It's Been Five Years

Put Down One Paper and The Cat Claims It Instantly

My Cat's Schedule Follow The Sunbeam Nap Repeat

I'll Fix It Saturday said my husband Three Saturdays Ago

Rode Home in the Rain Saved On A Shower

My GPS Says take the highway I Said Back Roads Only

Home By Noon is the Biggest Lie In Fishing

Want To Go for a Car Ride Best Words Ever

Doorbell On TV my dog Falls For It Every Single Time

A Closed Door is a Personal Insult To My Cat

My Cat Stares at An Empty Wall Now I'm Scared Too

Professional Purse Holder while my wife Shops

My Husband Hears one tiny Noise In The Car And Cancels All Our Plans

Kickstand Up Worries Down see you Down The Road

Don't Open the Butter Tub Those Are My Worms

My Dog's Arch Enemy is the Vacuum Cleaner

One Head Tilt from my dog And I Forget What I Was Mad About

Just One More Throw said my dog Three Hundred Throws Ago

Fresh Laundry out of the dryer Is My Cat's New Bed

My Husband Bought A New Tool for a job that Took Ten Seconds

My Husband watches Three Shows At The Same Time