Funny Sayings (508)
Forty Degrees Out and I still Took The Bike My Fingers Disagree
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My Wife Thinks I Own Two Rods let's keep It That Way
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Head Of Security inspects Every Grocery Bag Before It's Unpacked
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Bath Time my dog acts like It's The End Of The World
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Keeps Eye Contact while pushing My Mug Off The Table
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My Cat Ignores Her Name but hears The Can Opener Instantly
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"I'm Not Asleep" he's just Resting His Eyes And Snoring Loudly
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My Husband Knows Which Neighbor still has Every Tool He Lent Out
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Full Tank Open Road and Nowhere I Have To Be
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I Can Wait Five Hours for one fish But Not Five Minutes At The Mall
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3 AM my cat's favorite time to Run Laps Across My Bed
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My Cat's Favorite Show is Birds Live From The Window
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My Dog's Ball rolled under The Couch Now It's My Problem
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Twelve Years of chasing Squirrels Zero Caught Still Hopeful
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He Doesn't Need Directions he's just taking The Scenic Route Again
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Spent Twenty Minutes looking for the remote He Was Sitting On It
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One Wave on the highway and A Stranger Becomes Family
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My Lucky Fishing Hat has never been Washed And Never Will Be
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One Look At That Guilty Face and I know Somebody Found The Trash
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Just Mopped The Floor my dog took that As An Invitation
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The Bowl Is Full but the middle is visible So Apparently We're Starving
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Cat On My Lap so I guess I Live Here Now Someone Bring Snacks
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Hold My Ladder is how my husband starts Every Single Bad Idea
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My Husband Kicks The Tires like they're going to Tell Him Something
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I Spend More Time Polishing Chrome than I spend Talking To People
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My Cooler Is Packed with sandwiches, ice and Pure Hope The Fish Are Optional
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Official Backseat Driver head out the window and Ears In The Wind
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Those Aren't Smudges on my windows they're Nose Art By My Dog
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Bought Her Fancy Toys and she still stole My Hair Tie
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That Slow Blink means I love you Or Feed Me Probably Feed Me
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He Reloads The Dishwasher right after I load it Because There's A System
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He Will Carry Every Grocery Bag in one single trip Or Die Trying
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Some Nights I don't even ride I Just Sit In The Garage And Admire Her
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She Asked How Many I Caught I told her I had A Very Peaceful Day
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Picked Up The Leash without a sound and He's At The Door Before I Turn Around
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Bought A Queen Bed the dog gets Two Thirds I Get The Edge
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