Blankets (778)

I Live Here according to the lease but my cat says I'm Staff No Benefits

Dad Bod Biker Soul the belly is just Extra Ballast

I'll be home after One More Cast said every husband Ever

Teacher Countdown Days Till Winter Break Not That I'm Counting okay, I'm counting

My dog loves me for my Dad Bod it's the comfiest Napping Spot In Town

Veteran Grandpa Rule #1 Protect The Grandkids Rule #2 Spoil Them Rotten served then, serving now

Formal Attire Dog Hair Everywhere Absolutely On Purpose

Work From Home My Cat Is The Manager Raises Are Paid In Treats

Grandma's Cookies Are Made With Love And a Little Quality Control From the Cook

Teacher Mode Currently On Break Please Direct All Questions To the Snack Table

Mom's Laundry Has Its Own Zip Code Please Forward All Missing Socks

Dog Dad Schedule Walk the Dog Tell the Dog Good Job Repeat Forever

Husband. Dad. Recliner Certified Dad Bod Approved built on wedding cake

Grandpa's Fishing Rules Bring Snacks Let Me Nap In The Boat the fish can wait

Miles Away All Year Home For The Holidays Trucker Dad best delivery ever

Retired Veteran Promoted To Grandpa Best Rank Yet reporting for spoiling duty

Grandma's Snack Committee meets whenever the grandkids Open The Pantry

Grandpa's Stories come with bonus sound effects and a very Long Intro

Nana's Coffee Council agenda item one More Coffee meeting adjourned until the next cup

Grandpa's Garage where the Wi-Fi is weak but the opinions are Full Strength

Dad's Grill Forecast chance of burgers with a strong front of dad jokes

Dad Bod currently in Pie Season results may vary until January

Nana's House Rules #1 cookies count as dinner #2 parents can't argue Nana Has Spoken

Retired Veteran new mission Spoiling Grandkids reporting for snack duty

I'm Not Old I'm a Limited Edition Classic Grandpa aged like holiday fruitcake

Ride Now Pie Later holiday road crew first stop, grandma's kitchen

Teacher Mode: Off Winter Break Loading... please do not grade my naps

Dad Bod? Built-In Life Jacket safety first on the boat

My Wife Said One More Bike And I Ride Alone so I bought a sidecar

Age Is Just A Number a nurse counts in 12-Hour Shifts and coffee refills

This outfit was styled by My Cat one hair at a time You're welcome

My dog thinks I'm the best I choose To Believe Them it's been a long week

Retired but still Dangerous I have time, a pickup truck and absolutely No Patience for stupid people

I don't need a Weather App my knees already told me It's Gonna Rain

Marriage is just two people fighting over the Thermostat Forever

I hate being this handsome but I'm a Bearded Old Man so I can't Help It