Quotes Funny (1284 Designs)

I said I Do I didn't know it meant Do Everything she asks

we've been married so long we don't argue We Just Glare

Man Cave Rules 1. it's my cave 2. see rule 1 No Exceptions

My husband doesn't snore he just Dreams He's A Motorcycle

I've earned my Senior Discount and my Attitude you can have Neither

Don't talk to me until I've Had My Coffee and even then Maybe Don't

I still got it I just Forget Where I Put It

I married a man who owns Every Tool and can't find A Single One

My schedule wake up drink coffee complain Nap complain again Repeat

I'm not the princess I'm the Queen Bow Down Or Go Home

my husband wanted me to be his fishing buddy now he has A Bait Supplier With Opinions

My husband Retired now I have Two Jobs and zero Peace And Quiet

Retired my job now is napping, snacking and judging people from my Front Porch

I'm a man of few words No is one of Them

My husband never gets lost we just take The Scenic Route For 3 Hours

I'm not hoarding it's called Craft Supplies Mind Your Business

Old Man with a lap perfect for Grandkids, Dogs and Leftover Pie

I'm the reason Grandpa has grey hair and the reason He Smiles

I don't need your approval I already have a Wife Who Disagrees

Be afraid when a wife goes Quiet She's Planning

I have a Bearded Husband he's grumpy he's hairy He's Mine

My retirement plan wake up drink coffee Fix Things That Aren't Broken

With age comes wisdom and Bad Knees and zero Patience

Thirty years of marriage taught me Two Words Yes Dear

My husband can build Anything except An Apology

I don't need therapy I just need My Garage And Silence

Lie to me once and I'll remember it Forever With Dates

Don't mess with Old Guys we didn't get this old by Being Nice

in this house the remote belongs to the Husband the TV belongs to The Wife

Behind every good man is a woman Rolling Her Eyes So Hard

my morning routine coffee three pills and a Bad Mood Till Noon

all I need is my truck my dog and a wife who Lets Me Keep Both

I married My Best Friend now I'm stuck with Him Forever and I'd do it Again

You can't scare me I have a Grandpa with a bad back A Good Aim And Time

My husband helps around the house he lifts his feet When I Vacuum

I'm a sweet wife with a side of Salty Attitude